Glory to Zoltar! It appears that the military is getting involved in the mystical arts, employing astrology in its latest recruiting effort.
In an Instagram post shared Thursday, the country’s oldest branch is encouraging interested young people to join its illustrious ranks to align their career goals with their astrological signs.
For example, if you are Pisces (February 19 – March 20), the military thinks you would make an excellent Judge Advocate General’s body prosecutor, because a “JAG (27A) body lawyer will bring out the best of you, Pisces. “
“Honesty and a passion for helping people will prove powerful in court,” we read on Instagram.
According to Astrology.com, “The constellation known as Pisces has been associated with many divine figures in history, such as Poseidon / Neptune, Christ, Vishnu, and the Sumerian goddess Inanna.”
Hell, that’s a lot of pressure for a soldier.
The career path suggested by the military for Capricorns (December 22 to January 20) is that of a collector of human intelligence (35M).
“A human intelligence collector is the right path for your intelligence,” the post read, adding, “go to great lengths to successfully analyze and understand our enemies.”
The Army’s post, however, was fleeting, living on the service’s @GOARMY Instagram story for just 24 hours before disappearing. Those born under other stars will need to get in touch with the Army Astrologer to find out which MOS will best align with their heavenly destiny.
Unfortunately, there is no indication that such a diviner exists on the army’s payroll.
The Army Times’ request for comment from the US Army Recruiting Command regarding its employment as fortune tellers has yet to be returned.