What Astrology Says About Each Political Candidate In The Federal Election

You may have noticed that PTV has rolled out an election vertical called Electile Dysfunction where we spin threads about the upcoming election.

My esteemed colleagues who cover hot topics have mined a bunch of brilliant pieces to help make your voting decision easier.

As an astrology buff, my editors tasked me with figuring out how guys rank according to astrology.

Before continuing, let me be clear on this point: do not, I repeat, DO NOT use astrology to inform your decision when voting.

You should base your decision on each candidate’s position on policies involving women, First Nations, education, mental health, the LGBTQIA+ community, etc.

Here we will determine each candidate’s leadership skills using the ancient art of astrology.

Scott Morrison – Bull

Think back to the last few years with this moron at the helm and how he handled himself during national emergencies.

Lounging in Hawaii as the country burned, its inefficiency during the pandemic, and more.

So it should come as no surprise that Taurus is the laziest earth sign. They love to be pampered and would refrain from working hard just to get home in time for dinner.

Sound familiar? It should. This is what we have endured for years.

Not only that, but given that they’re the bullish sign, they’re stubborn as fuck and against any kind of change, which makes sense given how backward his views are.

Literally, one of the only benefits of having a Taurus leader in charge is that they aren’t afraid to be assholes when they need to.

Well, Scomo is a total asshole 24 hours a day, even, no, particularly when it doesn’t have to be. So now you have it!

Anthony Albanese – Pisces

So here’s the tea: the other two candidates are both Pisces and from an astrologer’s perspective, that’s fabulous news.

You know why ? Because Pisces has what our current leader lacks: empathy, compassion, the ability to care about others, etc.

Pisces leaders are all about healing and problem solving to everyone and with Albo, that’s all he talks about.

That being said, being an emotional water sign, Pisces rulers can get caught in the weeds of situations rather than attacking problems head on.

Adam Bandt – Pisces

Remember what I said about Pisces leaders who are dedicated solely to healing? Well, if you take a look at some of the policies and funding discussed by the Greens, you’ll see that Pisces energy shines through.

In terms of the negative traits of Pisces rulers, in addition to the aforementioned downside, these guys are all about pleasing people.

But quite frankly, given the state of things, I don’t think pleasing people is necessarily a bad thing!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this astrological analysis, now I would like to reiterate one last time: DO NOT USE ASTROLOGY TO INFORM YOUR DECISION WHEN VOTING!!!

Instead, analyze our electrical dysfunction verticality and see where each potential leader stands on important policies.

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